I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the condom got lost in my hair
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
