you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
