under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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