yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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