I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
