I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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