And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
