My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
