The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
