Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
