I just made out with a guy for $7.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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