Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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