Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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