I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Randomize
