wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
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