dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
