We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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