jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
