I got her a Nickelback box set.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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