I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
