she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
