I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
