Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
