if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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