WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
