I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
