he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
