Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
