It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
