I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
