She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
