miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
