It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
