fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
