Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
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