One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
