apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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