Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
