I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Randomize
