Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
