oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Found your dick twin last night
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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