I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
how do flat chested girls get laid?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
