i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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