i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
