I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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