Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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