3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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