im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
