Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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