M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
