Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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