I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
